I remember those drives home from work, my car seemingly steering itself into drive-thrus, bags of ultra-processed comfort accumulating in my passenger seat. I didn't understand then that it wasn't my fault – that my willpower had been depleted hour by hour throughout my day, leaving me vulnerable to the siren song of fast food and the promise of soothing my isolation.

My journey to releasing 170 pounds, and more importantly, releasing the huge pull of ultra-processed garbage on my day-to-day, has taught me two fundamental truths about sustainable recovery: we need both scientific understanding of our food dysfunction AND trusted connection. One without the other isn't enough.

The Science That Saved Me

When I first encountered Chapter 2 of the BLE book about willpower depletion, something profound shifted in me. Finally, someone was explaining why I couldn't simply "try harder" or "want it more." Understanding the science behind my struggles was the first step toward self-compassion and real change.

Finding My First Safe Harbor

My Boot Camp house, Homestead House, became my first true experience of what recovery in community could look like. Among those 400 people, guided by wise leaders and supported by VIP posters, I found a place where I could download almost anything that was troubling me. I would be accompanied. I would be held. I would be heard... for the most part. Not all topics were "allowed."

There are as many reasons we go to food as there are people on this planet. Having a safe space to process these reasons is crucial for recovery. As I progressed in my healing journey, learning to turn down the noise and chaos of what I call SWCC (Stuff We Can't Control), I began to understand just how vital these safe spaces were.

When Safety Disappears

January 6th was way more than shocking for me. The images of our capital under siege, the sheer duration and violence, seemingly unabated for hours, rocked me to my core. When I expressed my deep fear about the state of our union in what I thought was my safe community – my "mothership" – I was summarily kicked out of what I saw as my home. My family. My mothership. Suddenly, I found myself adrift in a vast open sea, without tether or anchor. The very community that had helped me heal now felt unsafe. 

Why I Created the Magic

This experience amplified for me why I had created the Magic Membership. I knew there had to be a way to discuss our lives – all aspects of our lives – in a way that would allow us to be heard. This is NECESSARY to turn down the noise. If someone's share triggered me, that was my work to unravel, not their burden to carry. And by accompanying others in releasing their burdens, I strengthened my own recovery. 

Understanding Our Triggers

Here's what happens in our bodies when we're triggered: something activates our amygdala, signaling crisis. Our prefrontal cortex – our thinking brain – goes offline. Our insula frantically searches for solutions, all within milliseconds. And there it is – food. The perfect solution. At least, that's what our limbic system believes - especially when we believe in our bones we are in a trusted space.

But our body often gets it wrong - literally MOST OF THE TIME. What we really need in these moments is our whole brain and trusted community. With practice – lots and lots of practice – our authentic self can learn to recognize these internal crises for what they are. We can arrest the trigger response before it leads us to food.

The Power of Trusted Community

I've heard rumors that a community you trusted has changed its policy regarding safe spaces for all. I don't know if this is true, but I know many are scared. I get it. I really do. Being cut off from your recovery community is terrifying.

This is where you need resonance, a way to express yourself, a place to be accompanied - right when you feel you're being set adrift. 

Here's what I've learned: there is another way. Find a place where you can:

• Bring your whole self
• Share your real fears
• Process your triggers
• Find accompaniment
• Practice staying grounded
• Learn to use your whole brain

A New Way Forward

When you're triggered and your amygdala is screaming danger, it can feel like you're floating alone in a vast sea. Take a breath - pause and look around. Are you really adrift with no one? Or are there hands reaching out to help you find your way back to shore?

In our Magic community, we practice:

• Walking together through triggers
• Understanding our brain's response to stress
• Supporting each other's healing
• Creating genuine safety for all
• Building sustainable recovery

You Are Not Alone

To anyone feeling adrift right now: you don't have to process this alone. Whether you're struggling with personal challenges, world events, or the daily work of recovery, there are communities where you can bring your whole self.

Recovery requires both understanding – of our brains, our triggers, our patterns – and connection. We need safe spaces where we can practice using our whole brain even when triggered, where we can learn to stay present with discomfort, where we can grow stronger together.

This is why I created the Magic, and this is why I remain committed to holding space for all. Because I know what it's like to feel cast adrift, and I know the healing power of true community. This is the pathway to healing for all of us. I do believe it - even if it does sound like Pollyanna has hijacked this blog post.

Remember: You are not alone. Your fears are valid. Your needs matter. And there are safe harbors where you can anchor, breathe, take a beat, and find your way back to solid ground.