Punching Bags and Brain Chemistry: My latest Growth Opportunity

Several times in my life, I've found modifying my nutritional intake has cured my debilitating asthma in my early 50's, then type 2 diabetes and high cholesterol in my late 50s.

Now 65, I'm sitting at another crossroads, and frankly, pretty sad and angry.

When I cured my asthma, research showed that removing as many allergens from my world, and healing my gut lining over the span of a year, changed my world. It did NOT release a lot of weight. I managed to stay at over 300 pounds.... fast forward 8 years and with the Type 2 diagnosis I knew I needed to address my food again. 

I didn't believe I would release weight as well, but I did! I found a solution that also released 170 pounds. It took two years. And I will tell you, I was voraciously hungry for the majority of that time. 

I managed to reframe how I felt about my consistent hunger. I was, in fact, releasing weight every time my body registered that urge. And I knew a lot of people who said, nope, not really ever hungry.... So, aside from feeling especially burdened, my little ones were having lots of temper tantrums.... lots of outsized emotions like sadness and anger.

Now, I'm in another place that feels just as unfair.

After spending a lot of the last two years taking medical and emotional care of my parents, they have both passed and in the process, I've gained a bit of weight.

Am I back to my uber fluffiness - hell no!

However....since my parents' deaths, my knee has developed very painful osteoarthritis. I have an old lady's knee.

Is this because of decades of pounding? Probably. Can I go back and re-do? Nope. I've never liked living with regret. It's such a wasted process. Reflect, sure. Regret? Nope. 

So now I've gone through 6 months of physical therapy, two cortisone injections, and one synvisc injection... it's not working... yet... as I'd hoped. I'm faced with recognizing that releasing the little bit of weight I gained in the last 2 plus years would absolutely help mitigate the joint pain associated with osteoarthritis... 

I've lived my life in the last 8 years, loving my walking and running, especially in my woods. 

Now, I'm faced with this issue: the possibility of chronic pain that has now stopped me from the one thing that has kept me moving and kept me sane. I'm not looking for pity here or advice, frankly. I would love accompaniment... which is the best form of healing. I have worked this problem from many angles... and I know sitting in the sadness and anger - at myself, at my parents, and at the unfairness of the situation is a part of healing.

I can ignore these feelings, stuff them down deep or allow them in and out - to flow. So I need to release the 20 or 30 pounds I've gained. It's going to be harder than I want it to be, and I'm not going to be able to use the walking/running as my go to - a side note, I have done some genome testing and found two things: I have excess ghrelin production - the hunger hormone (which is mitigated by cardio).

So I am going to start punching bag workouts - short spurts initially, which should give me the cardio I need - and maybe a silver lining - punching is a GREAT stress reliever. We already have a punching bag - I ordered gloves that are coming tomorrow. I'll keep you posted! Below is more info on the neurology and psychology of fairness and "keeping your eyes on your own plate. Enjoy!

Let's dive into the science behind this struggle.

The Neurological Perspective

via GIPHY

Our brains are wired for reward and comparison, making it difficult to ignore what others are eating when we're trying to abstain. Here's what's happening under the hood:

1. The Dopamine Dance: Our brain's reward system, primarily driven by dopamine, lights up in anticipation of food. This makes it hard to look away from tempting treats others are enjoying.

2. Stress Overload: Perceiving the "unfairness" of our situation triggers a stress response, flooding our system with cortisol. This stress makes emotional regulation even more challenging.

3. Prefrontal Fatigue: Our prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making and self-control, can become overwhelmed in these high-emotion moments, making it harder to maintain focus on our own goals.

The Psychological Struggle

Beyond the neurological factors, several psychological mechanisms are at play:

1. The Comparing Mind: Humans have a deeply ingrained tendency to compare themselves to others. This "comparing mind" is especially difficult to quiet when emotions are running high.

2. Wandering Attention: Research shows that a wandering mind is often an unhappy mind. When our attention is pulled to what others are eating, it can exacerbate negative emotions.

3. Choice Overload: Paradoxically, seeing the choices available to others can make us less satisfied with our own situation, even if we've chosen it for good reasons.

4. Social Connection Conundrum: Food plays a significant role in social bonding. Abstaining can feel like missing out on more than just the food itself.

5. The Challenge of Synthetic Happiness: While we can often create happiness by focusing on and appreciating our current situation, this becomes extremely difficult in moments of intense craving or emotional distress.

So, What Can We Do?

Understanding these neurological and psychological factors doesn't make the challenge disappear, but it can help us approach it with more compassion for ourselves. Here are a few strategies that might help:

1. Mindfulness Practice: Regular mindfulness meditation can strengthen our ability to redirect our attention when it wanders.

2. Stress Management: Developing effective stress-reduction techniques can help mitigate the impact of the stress response.

3. Reframing: Work on reframing the situation. Instead of seeing it as unfair, can we view it as an opportunity for growth?

4. Social Support: Surround yourself with understanding people who support your goals.

5. Self-Compassion: Remember, this struggle is rooted in complex brain processes. Be kind to yourself when you find it challenging.

Remember, recovery is a journey, not a destination. It's okay to struggle with keeping your eyes on your own plate. What matters is that we keep trying, armed with understanding and self-compassion.