The Healing Power of Bearing Witness

I am currently teaching a class with Patricia Reichgott O'Connor.  Together, we witnessed something profound that I've seen happen time and again when people create enough safety to truly show up. As one person shared their story of childhood wounds, others followed, creating a beautiful cascade of vulnerability and connection. Accompaniment. Let's dive into why this is soooo pivotal. 

The Real Wound: Being Alone in Our Pain

The events of our past—the angry father, the dismissive mother, the moments of humiliation or fear—these shaped us deeply. Yet the greatest wound wasn't just what happened. It was that we had to carry it alone.

The heaviest burden wasn't the event itself. It was the isolation that followed:

• Having no one to see our pain
• Having no one who could truly understand
• Having no safe place to express the raw truth

This aloneness is what echoes through the decades of our lives, shaping our relationships with ourselves, others, and yes—our relationship with food.

The Simple Miracle of Accompaniment

What I witnessed was the profound healing that happens when someone is finally accompanied in their pain. Not fixed. Not advised. Not "cheered up." Simply joined.

When we're finally seen in our struggle—truly seen without judgment—something remarkable happens. Our nervous systems recognize at a primal level: I am not alone anymore.

The magic isn't in having the right words to say. It's in creating the space where someone feels safe enough to say their own truth, and having that truth received with care.

Beyond "Making It Better"

Our instinct when someone shares pain is to try to make it better:

• "At least you had a roof over your head..."
• "You're so strong, look how far you've come!"
• "Have you tried meditation? It helped me so much."

But what if the most healing response is much simpler? What if it's just sitting together in that difficult space and saying, "I see you. I'm here with you. Your feelings make complete sense."

Resonance: The Deepest Form of Validation

Resonance happens when someone truly sits with us in our experience without trying to change it or escape it. It's holding space for whatever emerges—the anger, the grief, the shame—with compassion and presence.

This is what was missing when the original wounds occurred. As children, we needed someone to help us make sense of overwhelming experiences. When that didn't happen, we carried that confusion and isolation into adulthood.

Today, I watched people receive what they didn't get then: the gift of being heard, of having their experiences validated, of not being alone in the messy middle of their journey.

From Individual Healing to Collective Wisdom

What strikes me is how this kind of deep sharing doesn't just heal the individual. It creates a collective wisdom in the room that benefits everyone present.

When one person shares their struggle with anger, another finds permission to explore their own. When someone speaks about their limiting belief, others recognize the same pattern in themselves.

The courage of one creates space for the courage of many.

Invitation to a Different Way of Being Together

What if we created more spaces like this in our world? Spaces where:

• We listen to understand, not to respond
• We resist the urge to "fix" each other
• We trust that presence itself is medicine
• We allow all emotions their place at the table

I believe these spaces are healing not just for our individual wounds, but for our collective one—the wound of disconnection that runs through our culture.

In our class today, people shared stories of being silenced, of being told they were "too much" or "too sensitive." Yet in that very room, their sensitivity became a superpower—allowing them to connect deeply with others and themselves.

What if the very things we've been taught to hide are actually our greatest gifts to each other?

This is the work. This is the journey. And it happens one brave story at a time.