The list is long that have felt like THE HARDEST THING:

The list is long that have felt like THE HARDEST THING:

Leaving my 15 year marriage

Leaving my 12 year relationship with grace when a big part of me really wanted to blast at all the reasons why…

Raising two daughters by myself

Thinking I would always be alone, that I was “too much”

Struggling with severe anxiety and fear in my 20’s - feeling like I wore a mask until my 50’s

Turning my daddy into the department of licensing since he wouldn’t stop trying to kill himself and others with his car…

Watching my mom fade away

Watching my daughters struggle with their own physical, emotional and mental challenges, seeing my friends and family slowly kill themselves by their emotional and behavioral choices.

Realizing I am a serial perfectionist

Recognizing I’m so resistant to write and beating myself up over it.

Getting fired for the first time by BLE

Getting kicked out of their community for simply being me

Living as an uber fluffy woman for decades - being invisible and wearing my addiction on my sleeve…

Releasing 170 pounds and keeping it off

Seeing that hard work morph into waterfalls, hanging aprons and angel wings, sagging coke bottle breasts, so not sexy

Actually, the keeping it off has been a really tough road at times and is still ongoing. 

I’ve struggled with metabolic slowdown, insulin and leptin resistance - what the fuck do those mean anyway? You can’t really measure them easily. You can deduce things like - I’m 63 years old,  I’ve been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes so I’ve probably got a problem with insulin, I know my metabolism is a bit screwy because I’ve got Hashimoto’s, I’m sophisticated as hell (aka allergic to the planet and all it’s bits and pieces) so I’m pretty sure there are legitimate reasons I deem that I’m going to have issues keeping a weight I’ve only held for half a second, in the grand scheme of things….in my teens…. With restriction…. that’s logic in practice. 

By changing my food, I’ve cured or released 

• severe asthma 
• endometriosis 
• fibromyalgia 
• arthritis 
• sleep apnea 
• low energy and severe cold 
• apathy 
• loneliness 
• isolation
• brain fog 
• type 2 diabetes
• high cholesterol
• Severe, debilitating, persistent hives
• multiple bouts of pneumonia and bronchitis
• PSVT - extra sensor node in my heart
• Appendicitis - with severe asthma not allowing pain meds to recover due to pneumonia
• And I’ve got a fair number of fat cells dying to be re-filled….

So I’ve cycled through a number of different philosophies…. Always maintaining my veganism

I’ve tried.

1. Vegan keto - yeah that’s a bizarre one
2. Intermittent fasting
3. Fasting mimicking diet
4. days long Water fasts
5. 86 day juice cleanse
6. 40 day juice fast
7. Smoothies and protein powders. 
8. heavy metal detox
9. high carb/low fat (yeah sweet potatoes)

In essence, we are fluid beings. Stresses come and go, tools pop up to help shift and cleanse our adrenals, time heals and calms us, leaving the scale behind and measure based on my clothing was probably my biggest friend. We ket go of fears and struggles that no longer serve us… And I’ve kept the guiding principle = above all, maintain my peace.