What do I hide the most

What do I hide the most?

Dirty secrets - meh

What are those?

Things I did and didn’t do growing up.

Ways I showed up and didn’t for my brothers, my friends, me

Saggy coke bottle boobs stuffed haphazardly into  older model Victoria secret bras - with one underwire pulled out after being poked mercilessly.

They and my belly and my other battle scars from decades of uber fluffy cause me to shun exposing that and the looks I’m certain will explode on the faces of anyone I want to be intimate with. 

All the missed opportunities staring at me whenever I open that box called memory lane

Regret at friendships and loves lost 

Mundane Dust bunnys surrounding miles of technology power cords

Random sticky notes flitting and floating holding important passwords, random books and movies I should watch as well as important reminders only I want to see like “is this the truth?

Reminders to “share your gifts” “of course you feel" and  “Falling down is part of life - getting back up is living." 

All of these things I hide from the world… sort of - I’m a pretty open book. 

I hide behind my makeup, I stuff my apron and my waterfalls and my sharpeis eyebrows flowing from my ass into my yoga pants

I hide how annoyed I get when all I want to do is sit down and watch an action movie that completely envelopes my every sensory need - exploding and popping all my spaces so I don’t have to think AT ALL when I really should be thinking and writing and producing….

It doesn’t appear this way however I hide how much I have to say.

I hide from myself when I don’t want to run.

I hide from myself when all I want to do is run… away.

I hide my worry for the unknown, the foggy future.

I apparently have hidden my keys so I don’t have to go to the gym.

I hide my questioning of whether I did all I could as a mom.

What I DON”T hide

My joy and noticing of sooooo much magic in the world

My delight at arriving here, in this moment, so grateful for all of my experiences

My incredible amazement at being so abstinent still. 

My childlike wonder at what my spirit guides bring to me.

My creative cartoon brain

The vividness with which I love and live

My excitement at NOT knowing what the foggy future holds

My gratitude for all the partnering and the openness with which I share my space here in the magic.